How did the ancients decide who would be the sucker that would have to sample foods never been tried for human consumption? We are not talking about Baskin Robbins here. Take, for example, tomatoes. Origins point to Peru before the Spanish showed up. If people had tried to eat the leaves of these poison treats, they would soon be dead or wishing they were. So imagine that first brave soul touching his tongue to a ripe tomato, hoping to God that he didn’t croak like his older brother Manuel, all mottled and frothing at the mouth, with the leaves sticking between his teeth. Is this what we call taking one for the team?

So how did people decide who got to be the food tester? Was it the bravest of the group? Or was it the spindly little elderly ladies that were forced to do this task? Was it a noble thing? Or was it a punishment for abomination? Well, if the strongest were ’sacrificed’, and the food was indeed poisonous, then a tribe would have lost its strongest member. However, if the weakest person was sacrificed, then did that person give up because he was weaker and couldn’t tolerate the poison? Makes you think, doesn’t it? I wonder if there were a lot of poison-related deaths in the Dark Ages.

Maybe tomatoes are evil. At any rate, I still think it would have been an adventure being a food sampler. Think of how much money you could make (as long as you didn’t value your life). Or imagine a party, where new dishes were offered on silver dishes bedecked with jewels. If you didn’t like your guests you could just suggest some succulent blowfish, or perhaps a lawn mushroom and they wouldn’t gossip anymore about great aunt (or was it uncle) Patty.

Why did we suddenly flop from driving left side of the road a fifteen hundred years ago, to driving on the right? Suddenly it seemed like a good idea to move steering wheels to the opposite sides of our cars. Poor cross-country travelers and truckers–it must be disorientating to be staring the micterating dogs and elderly women in the face as you try to make a right turn with a tub of highly flammable anhydrous ammonia or crunchy potato chips swaying dangerously behind you.

Still there must be a reason for this odd change. I think it encourages the motor strip in our brains to work overtime. Or maybe it had something to do with the Fall of Rome. Either way, chicken is fun no matter which side of the road you crash on.

Are humans actually the measure of all things? Or are they just a part of a size chart where they happened to fit into the mix? Take, for example, the sizes of insects > trees >whales versus microscopic bacteria.

Is it a coincidence that most of the naturally occurring things we eat such as eggs, and fruit are sized precisely to fit into the palm of our hands? Imagine a world, where the majority of food was minuscule or perhaps too large to eat in one sitting.Where would that leave us?

The Golden ratio (1.618…) asserts some power over the general ordering of plants and animals in the world. So there does appear to be a mathematical logic behind the whole thing. Still, humans seem so self-assured that the world was built to suit them and their needs.

A future post: what’s the deal with humans requiring at least 900 sq. feet to squelch their fear of enclosed spaces?

BTW: Is the blue whale the largest animal on earth today? And if so, why does it stop at like 30 or 40 feet? What kind of regulating force is causing animals to top out at 40 feet?

This is the first post to be sited on The Stray Muse. To give you an idea of what you will be experiencing, consider the following…

Ahem. Wood Be Answers.

Why is it called sawdust if the dust actually comes from the wood?

And there you have it. There will be more musings posted soon.